Ick. I had it this week. I kinda lost my voice.

I kinda need it for work. :/

Snuggle with your puppy while I send healing vibes your way!! :D

Best healing and parasite killing wishes are being sent your way chinook!!

*Hopes it's not the "beaver feaver"

*regrets ever saying "oh come on guys, this water is perfectly fine to drink!"

I heard they used gelatin.. but there only seems to be one site (news related) that says so, so it might not be true.

Listening to the music of Dax Johnson.

It's some of the most beautiful piano music, but it still makes me sad when I hear it.

A few years ago, I was home in Spokane visiting my mom. We were in Northtown mall and heard him playing. We stood there mesmerized. My mom uttered, "The music is going through every cell of his body". I said "yeah". By then, I was desperately trying to hold back tears from being so moved because I was standing in a freaking mall.

He was the music.

He had 2 CDs for sale and we bought one of each. We started to leave and he had just went on a break. I turned back and said, no, I have to have him sign this.

I went up to him and asked if he would sign the CD. He said of course. I told him he had moved me to tears, but I'm not sure if he really knew I meant it. He was dressed rather grunge all in black, but he was kind, courteous, polite and appreciative.

I brought the CDs to work and played them in the area I work in. Everyone that walked into the room was impressed and asked who it was.

Several months later, my coworker asked, I wonder if Dax has released any new CDs for the holiday season? She decided to look it up on his website.

She exclaimed, oh my god, he died! I couldn't believe it. What??? No way! His memorial service was going on right at that moment. Coincidence??

We played his CDs at work in his memory that day. Again, I fought back the tears. I felt kind of silly only meeting him that one time, but he definitely made an impression. He was way, way, WAY too young. He left behind 3 small children.

When I could finally watch his memorial service that they had posted on his website, I learned he was fast cycling bi-polar. He had died of a drug overdose.

It seems some of the most incredible artists are the most tormented. After I watched it, I was glad he was released from that, but still am sad that his gift was taken away from those that loved him and his music.

I'm grateful I met him and witnessed him playing the piano and being lost in the music, and taking those who were listening, with him.

why some one don't answer me, what is wrong I have been.
bad girl

Hubby is gone to a business trip to Chicago until Thursday... :(

My boss's post-op pathology report came back that the colon cancer is in his lymph nodes too. He has to have chemo and radiation. The stakes are getting way too high... he is such a great person, I hate that this is happening to him and his family.

I miss my aunt. I still have the posterboard of pics I made for her wake and I really looked at them today and started bawling.

I still need her. She was there for everytime I needed her, every event in my life. Every picture I look at we are together. She was more like a best friend I could b***h to, or hang out with. I feel cheated.

Tommorrow is my grandma's birthday and I miss her too and wish they both could have seen the new babies that are here and are on the way.

When does it get better? I seem to be consumed with missing her?

in my 24 years of living, i still haven't found a human being that i can truly feel comfortable being openly expressive with.

i still read Plime daily, but been resisting giving thoughts and opinions. plime still isn't much different than any other online community - like everywhere else, i get responses pointing out how wrong, inappropriate, and retarded my comments are, and generally made to feel like i shouldn't have posted at all. i don't get that all the time or most of the time, but enough to know it's not worth expressing myself here, as well as anywhere else i've been.

i wish i knew how to find the people who not only tolerate my mental retardation, but to even appreciate it now and then.

If people do that to you, then fuck them. Here or anywhere else. You will not ever find a place on earth where everyone you speak to will agree with you or even think you're not a nutjob. If they can't handle the fact that everyone is entitled to an opinion then don't bother with them - it's just noise. Don't worry so much about it.

Learning to filter how relevant an opinion is to you is really important.

There are some people who's opinion I value and respect, particularly when we disagree. There are other people and I don't give a damn what they think.

Side A of the family is instigating problems with side B. Granted side B hasn't been a choir of angels, but starting more s**t isn't going to change anything.


It's repugnant and childish and I want no part of it. But how can I just sit there and let them gnaw at each other's calves? This is breaking my heart.

Hang in there RC. One thing I have found is that the older you get and the older "they" get, the more accepting people become. Really.

I wish I had something better to tell you, I don't. Just don't give up reaching out, people can't react positively to you if you don't give them a chance.

Also know we all feel that way sometimes, all of us.

It's not just that easy. Some people can't just push it off and grow that thick skin.
I have trouble doing it too.

I think that what you said really makes a lot of sense with what I said. Not only do people get more accepting with age, but people also give less of a shit about the noise they hear as well.

I've seen this Chez...I am really sorry it is happening with your family. IMO the best thing you can do is just not get sucked into it. They're going to do what they're going to do. Just stay above it and try not to take sides. Hopefully they'll realize it just isn't worth it.

I'm sorry... especially after not expressing myself well the last time you said something about it. Hope things start looking up soon.

Driving to the doctor yesterday, a couple blocks up the street from my house there was a road block with police tape. I found out this morning what it was about. :(

Article here.

Yeah, that was a tough one.

Heard on one report that he climbed down from the roof, hung and dropped onto her balcony.

My mother went on another one of her famous tantrams, it has been 2hrs, I don't know how much longer it will last.

*graduation is 2yrs away, graduation is 2yrs away*