That was a joke, I respect your opinion. Because of it I removed the post

I think this is the only thread where that joke would have been appropriate, and that was the point of this thread to my understanding.

I mean, the thread started off with jokes about cripples and pedophiles... Don't know how this is suddenly worse.

But back to the jokes, I suppose.

I thought BBs joke was entirely appropriate.

Here, how do you like this one?

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this f**king sweater!"

I agree with DEP and (the uber-sexy) RG.

This was the right place to put that joke.

HELP!!! I've just spunked all over my mother's chest by accident whilst she was asleep. If she finds out, she's going to go f**king crazy. Anybody know how to clean cum off antique oak wood?!

Q: What's better than winning the special olympics?

A: Not being retarded.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

The World Trade Center employees.






They can go through hundreds of stories in less than 10 seconds.

Little girl walks into the bathroom, "daddy, when will I get a penis?"

"When mommy goes to work"





I know, i'm going to hell

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.

Why didn't she get up?
She had no legs.

Why didn't she call out for help?
My d**k was in her mouth.

The Scotsman’s Wife

An Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any panties?” her husband demanded.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies.

“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman, your privacy is uncovered! Where are your undies?” She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.” He reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s $10. Go buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

“Sweet mother of Jesus, Aggie! Where are yer drawers?”

She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta afford any!”

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and Says, “Well, fer the love ‘O Jesus woman, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”

What's an Englishman doing giving his wife $'s? :D

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her ass in it."

Ok, time to up the anti.

Whats red and slides down a chip shop window.

Abortion of chips.

Whats a foot long, blue and red, and will make a woman scream all night.

Cot death.

Anybody care to join me in hell, a lot of the jokes so far have been tame.

I laughed.

See you there.

I think it does. Where else would it belong to?

Thirdy, it's settled. Three days ago settled.

guys when you wake up with morning erection along with a need to urinate, aka a "piss hard-on" it can be a catch-22. Your erection won't subside until you urinate and it is difficult to urinate while standing attention.

Many methods exist to solve this age old dilemma.

Here are some methods for you to try:


nsfw - just drawings but still nsfw

"Thank God they found the Balloon Boy! I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from Heaven"




(From Here)

slapstick laugh NSFW video